As Valentine’s Day approaches, many individuals may consider using generative AI tools, like ChatGPT, to craft the perfect love note. While these technologies can produce romantic messages in seconds, new research suggests that relying on AI for personal communication may leave users feeling dissatisfied with themselves.
In a study conducted by researchers Julian Givi, Colleen P. Kirk, and Danielle Hass, the emotional repercussions of using AI to write heartfelt messages were examined. The findings revealed that people often experience guilt when employing AI for personal messages, such as wedding vows or birthday greetings, compared to writing those messages themselves.
The Rise of AI in Personal Communication
Generative AI has revolutionized communication, becoming a common assistant for everything from work emails to social media posts. As a result, it is not surprising that individuals are turning to these tools for more intimate matters. The capacity of chatbots to generate emotionally resonant messages sounds appealing, but it can create a disconnect between the writer and the content.
The researchers conducted five experiments with hundreds of participants, asking them to envision using AI to write various emotional messages. Across all scenarios tested, including appreciation emails and love letters, the outcome was consistent: participants reported feeling guilty when they used AI for these communications. This phenomenon, termed a “source-credit discrepancy,” arises when individuals take credit for words they did not write.
Understanding the Guilt Factor
The study highlighted that the guilt experienced when using AI is notably absent when individuals opt for greeting cards with preprinted messages. In such cases, there is no illusion of authorship—everyone understands that the message was not personally written. Similarly, when a friend composes a message on someone’s behalf, the guilt level aligns with that of using AI. The underlying issue is not the medium of communication, but rather the perceived dishonesty involved in claiming authorship.
Interestingly, the research found that guilt diminished when messages were not delivered or were aimed at acquaintances instead of close friends. This indicates that the emotional expectations of personal relationships play a significant role in how individuals perceive the authenticity of their communications.
Moreover, previous studies have shown that people tend to react negatively when they learn a corporation used AI instead of a human to convey a message, especially in contexts that require emotional sincerity. For example, a boss offering condolences or celebrating a colleague’s recovery would likely invoke stronger negative reactions than a routine business update.
The findings suggest that maintaining authenticity in personal communication is essential, particularly during occasions such as Valentine’s Day.
So, what should individuals consider when crafting messages for their loved ones this February? The research advises against relying completely on AI to generate heartfelt notes. Instead, it encourages using generative AI as a brainstorming tool. This approach allows for the creation of messages that retain a personal touch while benefiting from the assistance of technology.
In conclusion, while generative AI offers remarkable convenience, it also presents ethical dilemmas surrounding emotional authenticity. As these technologies continue to integrate into daily life, individuals must navigate the balance between leveraging AI’s capabilities and maintaining genuine personal communication. This Valentine’s Day, taking the time to express feelings authentically may not only strengthen relationships but also enhance personal satisfaction.
For more insights, readers can refer to the original study by Givi et al, published in 2026.
