In a recent letter to advice columnist Eric Thomas, an African American man in his late 60s expressed frustration over his Jewish friend’s insistence on celebrating religious holidays. He noted that while he is not particularly religious himself, he feels pressured by his friend to acknowledge events such as Chanukah and Rosh Hashanah, despite not keeping up with the Jewish calendar. This dialogue highlights the complexities of cultural sensitivity and the importance of recognizing each other’s traditions.
Understanding Cultural Traditions
The letter writer indicated that his friend often expects greetings related to Jewish holidays, which he does not always recognize. He wrote, “He calls me all the time saying, ‘Hey, aren’t you going to wish me a happy Chanukah, or happy Rosh Hashanah?’” This situation reflects a common challenge in intercultural friendships, where one party may not fully understand the significance of certain celebrations.
Thomas advised that the friend may be attempting to share aspects of his culture. He suggested that the letter writer engage in conversation about these holidays to foster a deeper understanding. Asking questions like, “What do you do for Chanukah?” can help bridge the gap between their different cultural experiences. A simple acknowledgment, such as wishing “Happy Chanukah,” can also go a long way in showing appreciation for the friend’s heritage.
Accountability in Relationships
In another submission, a retired therapist shared insights on a different issue related to accountability in friendships. The therapist addressed a concern from a reader named “Tired,” whose friend had begun using a recent ADHD diagnosis as a justification for habitual lateness. The therapist, who also has ADHD, emphasized that while the diagnosis can be freeing, it should not serve as an excuse for behavior that affects others negatively.
“The diagnosis, while in some ways freeing, is an explanation, not an excuse,” the therapist noted, highlighting the need for personal accountability.
According to the therapist, many individuals with ADHD work diligently to develop coping strategies to manage their symptoms effectively. They suggested that “Tired” encourage her friend to take responsibility for her actions, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging how one’s behavior impacts those around them.
In both instances, the overarching theme is the necessity of communication and understanding within relationships. Whether navigating cultural sensitivities or personal challenges, fostering a dialogue can enhance mutual respect and compassion. As Thomas pointed out, relationships thrive on accountability and kindness, which ultimately allows both parties to grow closer.
For those facing similar dilemmas, reaching out for advice can provide clarity and help strengthen connections. Questions for Eric Thomas can be submitted via email at [email protected] or through his social media channels.
