Social Security can present significant challenges for those navigating life after divorce, particularly for women who have primarily served as caregivers. This reality became clear to Catherine Berresheim, who, after a 30-year marriage, faced the complexities of financial stability following her divorce at age 53. With her ex-husband threatening to end his alimony obligation as he approached retirement, Berresheim sought information regarding her Social Security options, revealing a broader issue affecting many divorced women.
During her visit to the local Social Security Administration office, Berresheim learned that she could not rely solely on her own work history for Social Security benefits. Instead, the administrator informed her that she would need to draw on her ex-husband’s record to supplement her benefits. Specifically, she was told she would receive approximately $1,600 per month, combining her own benefits with spousal benefits from her ex-husband’s earnings.
The realization that this amount was nearly $19,200 per year came as a shock. Berresheim had anticipated a more substantial financial support system, particularly after dedicating years to raising children and managing the household. The administrator added that if her ex-husband were to pass away, she would then be entitled to the full death benefit amount from his Social Security. However, given Berresheim’s health challenges, including hairy cell leukemia and multiple sclerosis, the prospect of her ex-husband’s death was an uncomfortable one to consider.
Reflecting on her decision to remain at home during her marriage, Berresheim expressed the emotional toll this financial revelation had on her. She was acutely aware of the risks that women face in retirement, particularly those who have spent significant time out of the workforce. A report highlighted that the poverty rate for divorced women aged 65 and older is over 19%, significantly higher than their married counterparts at 12%. These statistics underscore the financial vulnerabilities faced by many who choose caregiving roles over career advancement.
Berresheim’s situation is emblematic of what has been termed the Gray Divorce Revolution, where long-term marriages are increasingly ending in divorce. Many women in this demographic struggle with the lingering effects of their roles as homemakers, which often limit their earning potential and Social Security benefits. The systemic inequities they face — including lower pay, fewer employer-sponsored benefits, and unpaid caregiving responsibilities — result in long-term financial disadvantages.
Her experience also echoes that of her mother, who faced similar challenges after her own divorce in 1973. Berresheim’s mother, a product of the second wave of feminism, found herself in a financially precarious situation, relying on low-paying jobs that did not compensate for her years spent as a homemaker. Despite the advancements made in women’s rights, Berresheim’s story indicates that significant gaps in support remain.
To address these ongoing challenges, experts suggest legislative changes that could provide more equitable support for stay-at-home mothers. Proposals include offering childcare tax credits to those who have dedicated time to raising children and creating caregiver credits that account for years spent caring for family members. These changes could help ensure that women do not face financial ruin should they find themselves divorced or widowed later in life.
Berresheim’s reflections serve as a cautionary tale for younger generations. She advises young mothers to consider their long-term financial security when deciding whether to stay home. Encouraging proactive financial planning, such as contributing to personal retirement accounts, could mitigate the risks associated with unexpected life changes like divorce.
As Berresheim continues to navigate her own financial landscape, her story highlights the necessity of recognizing the value of caregiving work and advocating for structural changes that promote gender equality and economic security for women. The conversation around Social Security and divorce is not just a personal issue; it touches on broader societal themes that require urgent attention and action.
